wah -hoo - wah

Most people know that I ardently claim my college years.  My four years on the hill in Gambier, Ohio were pivotal, fun and defining.  Like a peacock I shouted out on FB that VCU coach Shaka Smart chose MY school over Harvard and all the other elite universities.  One of the most important lessons from Kenyon was that I could learn things that did not immediately understand.  I garnered that learning is an act of struggle -- not passively receiving information.  There was this theory in sociology about the emergent I -- that we are always forming.  We are not static.  We are always developing (see GH Mead http://www.iep.utm.edu/mead/).  Howard Sacks spent countless hours trying to help me grasp that concept and ultimately I was able to put my hands around that idea and work with it.  My willingness to cerebally engage in such an idyllic community was easy and made my time on the magic mountain so perfect.  My only job there was to improve and engage my intellect with as little or as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

All of these skills I gained at Kenyon have been precious now as I have tried to educate myself about any and all things that are going on with Frazer and Houlder.  I am glad I knew that learning was a struggle because frankly my tired old brain has had a work out that it has not had in a while.  Other than reading Cormac McCarthy's The Road and slugging through dyslexia information, my brain has not worked out but so hard in the last 20 years.

However, much intellectual curiosity and certainly idealist views of education and child development came from my time at The University.  Over at Ruffner Hall I read Teaching is a Subversive Activity published in 1971 by Postman and Weingartner and struggled and then embraced the idea that students can lead much of their own learning and that teachers have an agenda.  Not all agendas are bad per se but even back in the hipster dipster 70's pre-SOL's and high stakes testing educators were already postulating on the effects of being taught content and not inquiry. 


And all this matters in the sense that we have struggled as parents with the sense that there has not been much intellectual curiosity with Houlder.  Doctors have only looked in their bag of tricks without moving to that proximal zone of learning.  In their defense, I am not sure that our medical system rewards intellectual inventiveness and curiosity.  And, I am not sure patients are looking to be responsible.  But, I digress.

A few weeks back I queried if anyone had connections with Robert Rust at UVA.  He is a pediatric neurologist who considers headache a disease and has some unusual treatment protocols and ideas.  We had been looking for doctors who thought about head pain differently.

On Monday, we met his fellow who interviewed Houdler for 1.5 hours.  One question that these neurologists asked that no one else has is if Houlder suffered brain freeze when he ate ice cream (he does).  At he end of our appointment and with the consultation with Rust, there was a recommended treatment.  Based on the idea that the virus he had in December may have triggered the head ache which dialated the blood vessels in his brain.  For whatever reason, Houlder had not been able to reset the the blood vessels to constrict.  Rust offered an iv drug protocol which would constrict the blood to the blood vessels.  Typically used for status or intractable migraines, Rust had some experience with headaches similar to Houlder's and had about 80% success in having the headache go away.  He explained that the treatment was in the hospital.  Rust offered to set up it up next week, and we could come back or go through the ER.

Houlder said, "ER now please."

As I had researched Rust to know he treated headaches this way under certain circumstances, we had packed a night's change on the outside chance that Houlder fit the standard.  I was not surprised that Houlder wanted to start right away and said yes knowing that William would make it work at home and that all the folks cooking for us would help him out.

The first treatment was intense.  The meds that he had to have before the actual treatment med were disorienting and frightening. The first treatment did not change the pain.  So, out of the ER and up to the 7th floor.  We had incredible nurses -- truly thoughtful, knowledgeable and kind.  A private room. By the second treatment Tuesday morning Houlder's pain had been cut by a third.  He got up.  We walked around.  We played games.  He napped.  We watched movies.  Please know, I was seeing glimpses of the boy come back.  The third treatment was a boon.  As soon as he was able to no longer have blood pressure measured, we walked down to the cafeteria, had dinner and walked around.  He played game cube which he had the nice nursing assistant hunt down.  He joked.  He watched more movies.  He watched 'Napoleon" for history class.  He was already thinking about going to school on Thursday for at least one or two classes.  His pain was almost gone.

 The number of hits I had on Facebook alone surprised me.  I had not taken my laptop so that Frazer could do school work and there I was trying to follow along on the iphone which is a great device but not for a tired old woman.

Our friend Caroline had her Ch'ville connections checking up on us for which we were grateful.  She brought pieces of our summer life to our room as we watched rain storm after rain storm.  An ER nurse (I think he was a nurse, a darn nice guy) and Caroline's mother who is a father (http://www.carolinekettlewell.com/articles/my_mother.html) had a priest from St. Paul's (where my grandfather lived in 1938) come and make a pastoral call.  It was nice to know SRA was working its magic from a distance.

I felt a connection to my alma mater which I had not expereinced before.  Not being a huge basketball or football fan like my in-laws, I have never been that fascinated with all things Hoo.  However, my family is connected there and I was always proud to have been able to go there.  And, if we ever win the big lottery, Charlottesville is one place I have always wanted to live again.  It was especially nice to know the doctors there knew Houlder was not walking around because he was in pain verses some who were thinking differently.

It was great to post on FB yesterday morning that the headache was gone.

Yipee!

However, he is still having some struggles and we are still seeing the cardiac surgeon and neurologist in Bethesda.  He remains foggy and unsteady and hands are numb and his chest is still squeezing.  Somehow these things still exist, but the pain is gone.  And for that I am full of thanks and gratitude and joy.  We saw a double rainbow from our window.  That's got to be a talisman.

Houlder went to school for two classes today.  I think he was so glad to do something normal and not spend time with me that it was worth the shaking hands and dizziness.

He is upstairs reading Lord of the Flies.  

Dell is doing homework.

Frazer is with William picking up the dogs form the groomers.

Porter is swimming in the buff letting go of whatever ailed him in kindergarten today.

I am not ready to relax yet but a glass of wine by the pool has appeal.  I am just afraid I'd fall asleep before dinner.

On my way home from Ch'ville in the sun, I thought about this song and then a friend sent it to me today:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNQXQKflJNA

Everyone needs a happy day now and then.

And I guess ours is over.  the headache slammed back into his head about an hour ago.  Damn.