Advent

Houlder clearing security for Richmond Obama Rally.

Houlder was asked to submit his thoughts for our church's advent devotional.  He submitted without sharing with us.  The great unveiling is below:

“Crack in the crack, back straight, elbows at ninety degrees, feet flat.” This is the first thing the occupational therapist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN said to me and my fellow PRC’ers every day she saw us. Because every teenager wants to learn how to sit properly in a chair approximately 1,134 miles from their house.

In the winter of 2010-2011 I started having symptoms of an unknown illness that included headache, dizziness, nausea, and exhaustion among other things. I started going to doctors all around Virginia but it was to no avail. After over a year with practically no answers, the Mayo Clinic was our last bastion of hope. After many months of waiting, we got the call from Mayo in January of 2012 that we an appointment in March. After so long, it felt as if we had finally found the final destination of our search.

A week of tests, appointments, and consultations resulted in two main diagnoses: Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) where my blood isn’t flowing through my body properly because my Autonomic System is misfiring, and a Chiari Malformation where the lower tonsils of my brain are hanging out of my skull and blocking the flow of spinal fluid into my cranium. Because there is very little that doctors can do for either of these things, they suggested that I attend the Pain Rehabilitation Center (PRC) Program for teens.

At the end of April, I found myself back in Minnesota for over three weeks to go through the PRC program. I learned many things those three weeks, including how to sit correctly, how to breathe correctly, and how to exercise without passing out. But the greatest thing they taught me, was how to be normal again: how to go to the movies with my friends, go to school full time, to do my house chores.

Last summer, after completing the PRC program, I was asked by my parents to mow the lawn. Naturally, my first instinct was to resist this idea, but then I realized that I had not mowed in over a year. I grabbed my iPod and the gasoline and started. As I listened to one of my favorite bands, Mumford and Sons, I was glad for this simple job that gave me purpose, and I felt more alive than I had in a long time. It became one of those moments when I was just plain happy, and amazed at the gift of life that we all have been given. This is a portion of Below My Feet, one of the Mumford and Sons songs that I was listening to:

Keep the earth below my feet
For all my sweat, my blood runs weak
Let me learn from where I have been
Keep my eyes to serve
My hands to learn


As clichéd as this is, take a moment from your day and look around. Be amazed at all of the wonder around you and be grateful for it. Straighten up and rejoice.
Houlder Hudgins for December 17, 2012

Sixty Nine Days of Normal

Dell's first formation at Hargrave Military Academy Summer School

 Functional chaos.  Living the now.  A perfect descriptor eludes me.  From the chilly May afternoons through the final Saturday in July, four family hums with Southampton Recreation Association.  The swim team, the snack bar, the parties, the friends, the lounging, the people all exist on a small plot of Eden in Richmond City.  Cue the theme to Cheers.  Sometime around the end of June dinner morphs into cereal and PBJs.  Planning enough sunscreen and drinks for the day are enough.

Blessed are those who know the magic.  The formulary is simple and complex.  And not for me decipher having given Clan Hudgins the biggest gift the past two summers of just being SRA. 

Milo, Porter's big buddy at SRA

 In the past 69 days, I got away for a Kenyon weekend in Philly; William traveled ceaselessly; Houlder completed two summer school classes at Collegiate; Dell went on a service trip to DC with Collegiate, toured Georgia and Alabama on youth choir trip, and took a month of summer school at Hargrave Military Academy; Frazer frazzed; and Porter flourished, swam and became a pop music enthusiast.

Day 1 was the return from Mayo by Houlder, Frazer and me.  Other than a few things, we managed without the doctors the last 69 days.  It has been nice.  Today is Day 69, and Frazer and I head back to Mayo.

So much has happened and being in summer mode helps me process the continual flux of living with 4 boys and their charms.  When we live SRA, it is easy to embrace all that is good and working and right with us and leave behind the struggles.

As I woke up today on Will's 43 birthday to the alarm, I realized that the "Last Dance" last night with my "Champions" will have to sustain for a while.  Will left at 5:40am to drive 3 hours to collect Dell.  The three boys are sleeping.  I have laundry and things to collect before we fly out in a few hours to our Minnesota mecca.

Frazer doing a little reading

 Houlder swam two events at champs.  He finished both classes at Collegiate and has been driving Will's Passat.  For him, this is pretty great.  The good news is the pain treatment program at Mayo really taught him how to deal with his POTS symptoms.  The stinky part is that the headache has not gone away yet.  The one from January 2011.  For now, we are grabbing onto what is working.  Hopefully his supreme inner strength may allow him to cope and succeed with his junior year.  More treatment portently looms.

The medical condition of Chiari that both Houlder and Frazer have is significant.  I attended a medical conference on it and its related conditions.  The neurologic, genetic and embryologic frontiers are only beginning to understand to understand the what and why chiari is.  How to treat chiari is at best a wish, a prayer and great surgeon.  Unlike cancer, organ transplants, or multiple fractures, chiari is puzzles.  As one suregeon said, "You either make room for it by cutting the bone, or you cut the brain."  There is treatment of symptoms --  like never-ending headache -- but given what is involved we hold out hope.

Houlder Champs 2012 Silver 100IM R and 5th 100M Breast

Porter's first grade class and Carrie Thomas and Clara Petus -- best teachers!

 Frazer has started taking daily growth hormone injections and thought he grew the first night.  Not much to report other than he is a great kid.  He had some more educational testing and our homeschooling is more than paying off.  He is on grade in everything and age appropriate which has been a huge sign of his learning.  There is much to still medically suss out with the Fraz.  He is an easy kid to love -- not so easy to keep on task -- but enjoys himself almost all of the time.

Dell's academic life will hopefully begin anew after his choice to attend military school this summer.  It was a challenging decision for him --and me.  Knowing he would miss the SRA swim team banquet and JRAC champs was almost enough to make him stay home but his desire to be the best he can at Collegiate drove him to realize that he might need a little change up in his life.  I believe he has enjoyed the independence and chance to be who he is outside of others' shadows, illnesses and babyhood.  Unfortuately Frazer and I will miss seeing him today.  August 7th.  I am looking forward to seeing him!

P Daddy as he was called by the SRA swim coaches rocks.  He sings.  He loves his cats.  He swims.  He hits the baseball.  But the stinker does not love his reading.  He asked to repeat first grade and frankly the school and his parents felt it is necessary.  But what is not love about being with these same wonderful women this year?  He feels confident and good about his choice.  He has had a few friends ask him why, he said that he wanted to and he is just not ready for second grade.  Well, out of the mouths of babes -- or seven year olds. 

Porter during spring machine pitch

So long carefree time; until next year Swordfish.   Carry on with strength and honor.

Last day of school which was great as Houlder drove and actually attended last six days.

Susie's Kenyon 80s weekend in Philly

Bruce Springsteen exhibit

SRA craft time -- wreaths made from ties for Father's Day

First ribbons -- not just participation

Hanging Home

Impatient Porter

Houlder holding the flag for a home swim meet

Goofy octopus hat Dell won Porter at Six Flags Georgia

Back pack ready

Pre-swim meet attire

Retro

Unpacking at Hargrave

Heat winner -- got a few of these even if he dq'd.

Mad as a snake about having to swim at 10:40pm.  Don't blame him.

The Tombs in Georgetown with some Kenyon friends while at medical conference.

Another Kenyon 80s gathering at DuCard Vineyards in Madison County, VA with Paulo Emilio Franco Londono and Turtle.

Our friend Megan and her excellent snaggletooth!

Balance Beam

Our days are full.  Frazer and I shuffle from one campus for his appointments to another where Houlder diligently works.  We walk from Ronald McDonald House (RMH).  It is about a mile between campuses, and if we are in a rush we take a shuttle which is nice. 

As I cannot be in two places at once, I have opted to attend all of Frazer's doctors appointments.  The folks running Houlder's program have been accommodating and conscientious making sure I know what is happening with him and giving me the classwork I need to do.  The Mayo doctors continue to amaze me with their joyful, intellectual engagement with Frazer and all his pieces and parts.  He has a slew more tests and evaluations but clearly we have entered a realm of exploration, some answers and more questions.  He remains always the Fraz which is funny because usually the doctors are referring to him as Fraz within minutes.  The Blue-Eyed comments keep coming and he is trying to be better.

Houlder's program is more like the marine boot camp version of mind over matter.  It is not always pretty and is never easy.  There are rules.  Lots of them.  The most important ones involve when it is okay to call for medical help.  They are the following:  Fever of 102.8, protruding bone, unconscious, buckets of blood, or sucicidal.  Otherwise, kids are considered well and need to move through pain.  Unfortunately for Houlder, he has a cold or flu type thing.  I am staying quiet and telling him that he has to deal with it.  It is interesting to watch.  And, I think if he barfs during class, the folks may decide that is more than a pain behavior.  If not, it sucks for Houlder but he will not expire even if he feels like it. 

Those who love Houlder and care about him are not allowed to support "pain behaviors."  What this means is we stay neutral on everything.  We don't acknowledge him if he is in pain, and we don't ask him how is.  Seems cruel.  I am as on-board as I can be as the world has not come up with a better plan for chronic pain; mental boot camp is what Mayo is serving up.  He does biofeedback, relaxation, PT, OT, Recreational Therapy, homework, classroom work, the whole thing.

He is determined, successful and living his life just with pain.  

One of the concerns the leaders try to enforce with the parents is not to expect perfection in ourselves and our kids.  I would not put me in that category, but I am not easy.  I expect hard work and kindness and family.  But they are concerned we are worried about what others think.

I was able to share that yesterday as Frazer was in his boxer briefs presenting his backside to the doctor, I looked over and saw a HUGE HOLE in Scooby Doo!  It never even occurred to me to have an underwear check before leaving the room.  Silly mom!  Not rocking the perfectionist presentation there.  The pair has been dispensed to the trash and Frazer's breeches today are whole.  The class laughed agreeing that my issue may not be looks.  I am sure there are issues.

I want so share the value of this program even though it hurts to see someone you love suffer.

There is a young woman Houlder's age in the program.  Until two years ago, she had been developing normally.  Her intense and rapid decline into a wheelchair and no speech had doctors everywhere wondering.  In December after a brain biopsy which is a risk by itself, the neurologist told the family to bring in Make-A-Wish.  Plan for the end.  For whatever reason, she somehow got one last evaluation before deciding they were waiting for her death.  One doctor questioned the previous doctors.  All them were at Mayo.  Brainiac throw-downs. 

What does a parent do?  How does a parent decide?  What would I do given the idea that mind of matter might work or plan for her final wish? 

This mom and daughter are a team -- I have goose bumps just typing that. 

She entered Houlder's program using a walker after proving the previous week she could get out of the wheelchair which basically was testing this one last theory. 

Could she hang with the Commandant (who is loving but strict)?  Could the mom just take away the walker?  The bigger question when you are in these groups is, could I? 

Last Friday -- six days ago they took away her walker.  After a struggle on the floor, she was offered PT, go home or a nursing home.  She got up and walked to PT.  Yesterday, she ran. Ahead of the other kids.  Her insight guides the group.  Her humor is contagious. 

Do we know that we are greater than the sum of our parts?  I wonder.  Is this faith?  Hope?  Love?  Fate?  Her recovery generates more than Hitchens-que theroretical explanation. 

Four weeks ago the doctors thought she would die.  The scarring in her brain.  Her lack of muscles.  Her cognitive loss.

Every day I see her, I weep.  She is not without pain, but she is winning not the pain.

This mom has become a hero to me among many incredibly brave, relentless parents.  Her laughter is infectious.  Her spirit unflagging.  Her soul accepting. 

Were I called upon to be that strong, would I?  Could I?  Should I?  These are the dark of the night expository essays.  Does an answer matter until the question is asked?

There is grace in this family and our group who celebrates these remarkable achievements as well as the simpler, quiet ones which just involve standing and walking to the classroom -- all with pain. 

And my sons have witnessed a friend rise like the phoenix only stronger and bolder. 


Hail to the Chief!  Or whatever one says to the bossy military leader.

I'm Alright...

Courtesy of Caddyshack...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNf5Yd1huUo

A quick update...

Frazer began his visits today further convincing me that this diagnostic doctor is amazing and this approach to handling complicated cases is the most effective way.  I love how he asked Frazer why he was there and Frazer shrugged his shoulders and then mentioned wanting to grow taller.  The doctor asked him if there were any other reasons and he said, "I know my mom has plenty."

Houlder's second week has been positive and filled with hard work.  He is the super kid we know. He definitely is enjoying the company of the kids as it is now Houlder and 7 girls.  He also got to experience a friend who has been in a wheelchair for several months and very ill, walk independently.  He said that he knew it hurt but that she pushed through and did it anyway.  I am glad he is still the kid who notices that.  He has also starting to pose some challenging questions to the specialists.

William is maintaining life at home.  We miss our family.  We are sending cards, and they should get a package in a few days.  Our mailbox has had mail the past few days, and Frazer has loved that!  Thanks!

So, here are some photos.  I am not sure if the video links will work, but I will try.

Here is Porter reading and sending us a note from his wonderful reading teacher:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnicJzx6orI&feature=youtu.be

Here is Frazer rocking the guitar band thing with Houlder and his friends at the Ronald McDonald House:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xotBJREG47k&feature=youtu.be

I hope the sound works.  I am sure I did miss some feature.

Traveling is rough.

While Mom's away, Porter gets a buzz.

Dell sporting his new do.

Pretty stained glass.

Very cool light fixtures in old Mayo building.

Thinking.

Porter's baseball team

Sunday's community dinner at RMH

Houlder rocking out.

Hands free guitar

Another graduation for two great kids

Lunch break in the courtyard

Fraz man

A new game

End of week 1

Frazer, Ronald and Houlder

I feel like Jean-Luc Picard entering a the Captain's Log:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9u6WhuuiVI.  Only we are not saving the galaxy and have not encountered any Borgs (thank goodness).

Yesterday, we moved to the Ronald McDonald House.  Houlder's program recommends it as the kids can have a more dorm or camp like expereince.  The staff are amazingly kind and there are kitchens on every floor and after one night, I think we are getting around okay.  I was not sure if I had the fortitude to manage all the kids at RMH with heart-wrenching stories that pale in comparison to ours. But, I believed we should try and we are.  Frazer wanted to move to RMH as they have a game room with every video-game device made, tv, craft rooms, in-room touch screen computer/tv/video machine.  He is delighted.

Yesterday afternoon Fraz played mario cart on wii with a 9 year who had a heart transplant when she was 20 months old after spending 15 months in the hospital.  She is here after living without difficulty for five years, because her body has been rejecting.  She walks around with a mask and two lumen hanging off her body, and she and Frazer had a great time.  It is an interesting way to make what seems atrocious normal.  Kids are kids.  My mother worried about Frazer asking inappropriate questions but asking personal questions about health and why you are here seem to be common place.  And, he has not said anything remarkable -- yet.

Oddly enough we met another Richmonder.  She has POTS too.  How is that?  She said three girls in her class have it.  Mayo still swears it is rare but there are dozens of cases in Richmond.  What the heck?

What is POTS?  Postural Orthostatic Tarchycardia Syndrome which is a mouthful.  In short, Houlder's heartrate whacks out and his blood pressure is too low which gives him headaches, blurry vision, brain fog, dizzness, fainting, and GI troubles.  He also has the added bonus of a chiari malformation which is a delightful situation.  One's cerebellum hangs low into the spinal column instead of sticking up with the rest of it.  The low-hanging brain is called cerebral tonsils.  They can also be the cause of headaches when he sneezes and coughs.

The treatment program is to treat the pain.  Three weeks of 8-5 Occupational therapy, physical therapy, recreational therapy, group classes, biofeedback, individual classes to basically learn to live with the pain.

Yep.

Mind over matter.

Yep.

Okay.

Many of kids who are in the program also have depression or anxiety due to chronic pain and health.  We dodged that bullet and are hoping for speedier rebound.

Houlder has enjoyed being in the company of other kids with POTS or some other painful chronic health issue.  There are kids who came in wheelchairs and are walking out.  Others who have been disabled for years.

The program lasts 17 business days and there are graduations once or twice a week.  Here is a 12 year old's graduation group photo.  He had been in bed without leaving for one year and is walking out.

Pediatric Pain Rehab Kids

One girl in his program has used the time to go visit St. Olaf's and Careleton this weekend which is such a great idea I may look into renting a car and doing that our final weekend.

This week, 3-4 new kids will join in and Houlder will be able to say he is on Day 3.  Not such a newbie.

We took a cab to the movies yesterday, and Houlder saw Safe with a group friend.  They are working on a Coldplay song to play for graduation on the guitar which is awesome to me that they have those.  One of the girls can apparently sing which will be great to hear.  There will be a pizza party at Ronald McDonald for them.  It should be fun.

Frazer and I saw Pirates:Band of Misfits.

We took a cab to the Hy-vee which is the Kroger of Rochester, MN.  Bought a ton of groceries to fit in our little bin in the frig, came back, unloaded, labeled and put away everything to then made tacos for dinner.  As much as I enjoy eating out and as much as I like not having to scrub floors, I do enjoy the normal quality of taking care of oneself RMH provides.  Control over what we eat -- healthier -- and when is nice.  Now we can pack our lunch and avoid the hospital cafeteria which was tolerable at best.  We are responsible for cleaning up any space we use which allows Frazer and Houlder to have some chores.

Frazer begins seeing doctors on Friday and through the following week.  He is seeing twice as many as Houlder did so I am curious about how this process will go.

While we were doing the intake for RMH, the nurse asked Houlder what he might want to do later on in life.  He said go to college.  When she asked if he knew what he wanted to be he said, "I never knew before but now that I am back at Mayo, I know I want to be a doctor and work in a teaching hospital.  I am good at teaching and like it.  My brain can do the math and science when I am not sick."

Okay.

Yep.

Not even sure what to think of that, and William will be reading this info along with you.  How's that college fund, sweetie?

He can do it.  I am just surprised.  Truly, shocked is a better word. 

At least maybe one of our children will  be able to take care of us when we are old and decaying -- wait, is that now?

RMH encourages kids to get real mail as there are mailboxes and what not.  So, you can write any of us at
Houlder Hudgins
c/o Ronald McDonald House
850 2nd Street SW
Rochester, MN 55902


William, Dell and Porter are progressing and handling the home front.  We Face Time almost every day (like Skype).  Porter loves sticking his eyeball up to the camera.  Porter gave our wonderful friend Austin a time of it during the beginning of the week while she managed the kids while William and I were gone.  His anxiety made him not the nicest kid.  If you know Austin, she has survived an ordeal.  Thankfully, she is kind and understanding.  Porter even told me, "I was a jerk."  Well, that's something.

Finally don't worry that the irony the House the Ronald built is offering us such great accommodations and compassion is not lost on me.  All those times of avoiding the whines for McD's.  Life is amusing.

Day One

We arrived in Rochester Monday without any delays or troubles.  We checked in, had dinner and crashed.

Tuesday morning came and we headed straight to the PRC -- pain rehabilitation clinic.  As we waited by the desk and kid came up and introduced himself to Houlder asking him if he was going to be joining them (kids enter the program in a rolling fashion.  Phase 1-2 in as 1-2 graduate).  Houlder immediately broke out into his classic smile and shook his hand.  It felt good.

Tuesday was long as we learned many things.  There were classes for Houlder and me, parent groups, intakes, working with Frazer in the atrium -- typical first day anywhere --FULL!

Wednesday was basically a repeat.  The parents hang out in the atrium much of the time talking and sharing their experiences.  The program really encourages folks to stay at the Ronald McDonald House.  They had a community dinner which we attended and it is an amazingly nice facility.  We are on the waiting list but we are also not sure.  The hotel is closer to the campus in which Frazer will going and that seems a bit easier for him.

The kids at this time are mostly in the surrounding area.  Two kids drive back and forth every day, and three go home on weekends.  There is a 16 boy from Missouri, a 19 year old girl from Denver, a 12 year old girl from Jacksonsville, and a 17 year old girl from Bloomington.  Houlder is the first person in the program from Richmond.  They have a map in which the kids pin their home towns.

We are also started to pick up the lingo.  Houlder on his first day was minus 2.  So, his third day there is actually Day 1 until graduation.  And, it gets tricky not wanting to say, "Oh," in that Minnesotan way.  

Thursday, Day 1, Houlder began the regimen that they have him on.  Unlike what we are hearing about, he has entered the program excited and ready -- the coachable kid that he is.  In that way he does not fit much of what they focus on as his attitude and willingness to work hard are already there.  He had the focused relaxation down as well as guided imagery.  Hopefully he will move by leaps and bounds.  There are several kids who came in a wheelchair and are walking now which is pretty incredible.

Each morning begins with 30 minutes of stretching and I made Frazer join in.  I wish I had taken a photo.  Hood up, hands in pockets, looking at his toes.  After trying to cajole him into joining us for 15 minutes, I let him go back downstairs where he read.  That kid does not like a crowd or people talking about his eyes.  

Thursday lunch is provided by the program and there was a graduation cake for a 12 year old boy from Winnona, MN who graduates on toay.  He arrived in a wheelchair and had been in bed for over a year.  His mother brought him every meal in bed.  Clearly I must be meaner.  There is a lot of parent focus on not doing too much for our children or focusing on what is wrong.  In our meeting with Houlder's case manager, he said that he sensed that was not applicable to me as Houlder had already told him that I had continued to make him do chores. 

Thursday evening a small group gathered for dinner at the Mongolian Grill HuHot.  It was a nice evening and then we came back and Frazer and Houlder watched Lord of the Rings Two or something while I worked.

 We are ready to begin Day 2.  I am in search of coffee, Frazer is starving and Houlder is showering.  A relatively normal day.

Home again!

Dell and Kate

Houlder  & some infra-screen

After our weekend of reading, exploring a little, Houlder resting, watching movies, and eating, we headed into Monday visiting the Pediatric Pain Rehabilitation Clinic on another campus of Mayo.  During an intake we learned that the three week program basically has a 100% success rate of getting kids with POTS up and going again.  Not at full speed but the intake doctor spoke of Houlder being able to swim again even this summer and for school again.  So, we head back most likely the end of April into May for this program.  Family participates four hours a day and he works 8 hours a day.  Weekends off.  

It is the only facility in the world which does this.

Thank you universe!

After this visit, we headed back to the hotel and hung out for a bit.  Then, we headed for the MRIs.  He was in the tube for about 2 hours getting three different types of images.  

Monday evening we had dinner at Mac's a local's Greek restaurant.  Yummy food and even more yummy milkshakes.  We came back to room and watched Jack and Jill not Adam Sandler's greatest movie but we laughed which is always good.

Tuesday was relatively free  until we met with neurosurgeon and neurologist.  Houlder rode the bike 11 minutes.  He has a very controlled exercise schedule to build his strength without the fall out of over straining his muscles.  I hit the pool and hot tub.  

Neurosurgeon does not recommend surgery at this time which is exactly what we wanted to hear!  Yippee!  The MRI showed us that his cerebral spinal fluid is flowing despite the low hanging cerebral tonsils.  The visit was only five minutes, but it more than answered our questions and showed us what we needed to see.  If the treatment is unsuccessful and he is still suffering with headache and dizziness, then we will revisit this anomaly.

This was Minnesota in March.

The only bummer was that Houlder felt rotten as we left and agitated.  One of nurses in POTS clinic gave him some relaxation CDs to help with the pain.  We headed back to the room and for two hours he listened, seemed to calm down, and settled without sleeping.  Good to know all that swim training is helping him. I used the time to start planning SRA social events for the spring and summer.  Glad to have that time to think and plan.

"I look through a half-opened door into the future full of interest,intriguing beyond my powers to describe."  William Mayo stained glass within hospital

Mayo Clinic

More sculpture which is everywhere around Mayo

When we headed to neurologist, I also used the time to schedule a visit for Frazer.  I am trying to coordinate it when Houlder returns.  For Frazer has recently learned that he has PANDAS to add to his little laundry list.  But, I feel confident getting him here will help guide and heal Frazer.  The neurologist supported the neurosurgeon's view and went over a few other things including the rehab.  He invited Houlder to come visit him when he is back.

When we headed back to room, Houlder still felt rough and wanted to listen to more of the CDs.  The weather was so mild all the the local establishments were putting out chairs and tables and umbrellas.  I wanted to hang outside.  Up he went and down I sat on this sofa in front of the hotel.  I played words with friends, texted friends the good news, talked to William.  A pleasant hour.  If I had only had a beer....

Heritage Gallery at Mayo; a mini museum

Will emailing, "Could this be the trim?"

We had dinner for the 4th time at the best restaurant we have found, Pescara, in our hotel.  The portions are huge, and we have eaten leftovers for lunch.  Last night we shared everything.  We talked.  Houlder eyed the couple next to us as they were over the top.  Of course, he was not subtle and needing a few reining-ins.  We ended the evening looking forward to coming home, talking to Porter, wishing my father-in-law happy birthday, and talking to my mother.  

We saw at least five different grand pianos.  This is one of the main lobbies.  People can play whenever.  Or sing.

We are mostly packed.  We have tons of booklets to bring home and the two binders I had sent in July.  A few treats for my sweet boys whom I missed and many feelings of relief and gratitude.  Friends have continued to support us and offer us such loving words.  They have had my kids over, found niches where they can feel good and be distracted by our absence, and reached out to reassure me.

Fruit ninja while we wait for neurologist.

'this one?"

William again emailing about the trim.

William has been a rock star.  Handling work, renovations, three kids, baseball, feeding, shopping, homeschooling, the dogs, the cats, life.  I am fortunate.  This path is not for the faint of heart, and we trod it.  Together.  Tired.  Trying to laugh.  Managing.  Greying.  But doing it.  These sons of mine are blessed to have such a role model in their dad.  I hope that they know that one day.

Up to pack the bags, have breakfast and head to an airport smaller than Key West's.  

To borrow from Ralph Waldo Emerson

      For each new morning with its light

      For rest and shelter of the night,

      For health and food, for love and friends,

      For everything Thy goodness sends.

Theory into Practice.