Here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbIuC9hTY9Y&feature=share
So much for any attempts for musical hip-ness, yet I love music and lyrics. That whole 70's songwriter thing raised me up during that decade.
When I was a freshmen in college, our hall made together a mix tape of each woman's favorite songs. My friend Kathryn picked "Circle Game." Funny that I do not remember my song choice.
The circle image is strong.
Trying to make the circle:
Frazer finished all imaging without any new diagnoses on Thursday. I emailed the cardiac docs aroudn 10pm to hope to schedule Frazer's procedure before summer started. By 6am Friday Frazer was on the books for Tuesday, May 10th.
Arc.
Friday morning, a former Sabot mom whose child had been in Frazer preschool class and her other child is in Porter's Collegiate kindergarten class told another K-mom about my blog.
Arc.
This mom is a pediatrician at MCV who asked questions, listened gave me her cell number and told me to have our pediatrician -- who had trained her -- to call her.
Arc.
Thank God. When I returned from the tea in which Frazer was in charge of watching Houlder, the man-child had reached a low that frightened me. Houlder came into the MCV ER with a plan to get him admitted to general peds due to the mother's day tea.
Arc.
Our pediatrician met us here on his day off to make sure every I was dotted and t was crossed and Houlder was seen by many disciplines and examined and poked and investigated.
Arc.
And our time here began. Neurologist on call -- the one who Frazer had seen the week before who had seemed curious why Houlder was not here.
Arc.
Endocrine. Link with Frazer.
Arc.
Palliative Care. Infectious disease. General Peds.
Attending comes in and tells me that he had just gotten off the phone with this Kindergarten mom and that he knew that we were friends.
Arc.
tests, medicine, brothers' and dad visit
Arc.
Outside Saturday afternoon we went to eat lunch (Mekong and Jersey Mike's) on the cool observation deck they have for the peds patients to get outside without leaving the floor.
A mom and her son are playing catch. I look at her; she at me. Houlder and her son had played together at Thirteen Acres park before Holton was ever there. We were in Northside Babysitting co-op together. She had spent more nights than any mom should spend here as nice as the nurses can be. She showed me the kitchen, the linens, tricks to ease things for Houlder, how to get better food, child life, a quiet place to meet with family.
Arc.
Porter and Dell played with catch with her son while Houlder was interviewed outside by yet anther med student. Better to be in the sun.
Arc.
Mother's Day. The ultimate arc. 16 years ago on that day I had false labor after a hot and spic meal at Tex-Wisconsin Border cafe. I sat rocking in the chair which had been William's grandmother's wondering if I was really going to meet this creature that had invaded my life.
Arc.
2011 finds me tending the creature who the doctors are racking their brains to think of what is wrong. Tests keep ruling out really crappy things but no answers. Spinning ideas.
Arc.
One of these arcs need to connect.
A flowered delivered by reconnected friend. For mother's day. She knows what it feels like not to know.
Arc.
The world is full of souls who want love, power, acceptance, sustenance, and voice. We were walking the halls with our children Sunday afternoon. Believing that the greatest gift would be our child returned whole.
Our friend got to take her son home in the evening.
Arc.
A friend posted on Facebook a lovely shout out to send energy our way. Swordfish responded.
Arc.
Houlder may be the last of his friends to get Facebook. William and I had thought 16 would be okay. But today I wanted him to connect with his buddies. He thoguht that I was kidding him. Early afternoon he signed in and I think he is friends with too many kids already.
Arc.
The doctors said that they are out of ideas. His pain was still extreme this evening. They have no idea of what it is. They don't know how to manage the pain. They are talking about pediatric palliative care at Hopkins. I joked that they are welcome to look at everything and come up with their own disease and write a journal article and be forever famous.
But, I was not joking.
Breathe.
After this uplifting meeting, William arrived to be with Houlder, and I headed home to shower, grab some things and bring Porter and Frazer for a visit. Dell headed to swimming with friends.
Frazer toured the floor to see where he will be tomorrow night since he and Houlder will be on different parts of the floor.
Breathe.
Porter loved it but told me, "Mom I hope I never have to come here. It kind of smells."
Breathe.
Houlder's roommate this past few days is having a cardiac procedure right after Frazer.
Arc.
At this point, as I type beside Houlder is watching an old James Bond, I am praying this last ditch medicine works.
The only thing I can say it that I was not a good geometry student. If it does not make a circle, we will keep finding the arcs to wholeness for my gentle giant.
I am scared about tomorrow but I believe it will be okay. Sweet Frazer chose Lucky Charms this time. Let's hope the little leprechaun behaves.
"Seasons they go round and round. Painted Ponies go up and down. We're captive on a carousel of time. We can only look behind from where we came."
The medicine for Houlder did not produce the longed for results.
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