Prank Call

In the days of rotary phones, it took at least 20-30 seconds to dial a phone number.  Piddling, some friends made prank calls one night.  There was an immature thrill as a teenager in dialing random phone numbers from the phone book and either hanging up or making a dumb joke.   But, my admission holds equal parts shame and and humor.  In days before caller id or even star 69, I worried about scaring people.  Sadly, that is the humor for me.  Skipping the light fandango held such Romantic appeal but something as annoyingly harmless as making prank calls drew out enough anxiety that I was more bystander than participant.  Fear of being caught was less compelling than what happened if the person we called actually had trouble.  I welcomed the busy signal when my turn came. 


Monday the phone rang and Houlder answered.  An MCV administrator was calling to tell him he had a MRI on Wednesday 3/23 and a doctor's appointment.  Could I call her back to confirm?  Sure.  How pleased we were to know our friend had some how moved mountains and had us an appointment and a new test and an appointment with a neurosurgeon. 


By Tuesday, we had another phone call which rendered me dizzy; a technician had called to schedule a visual field test for Houlder talking about the tumors in this optical field and pituitary.  Could we come at 2pm?


Um, yes.


Immediately my brain started rolling and my stomach turning.  His ophthamalogist had okayed him.  Was it be possible that Houlder on the huge end of the scale had the same problem that Frazer might on the other end of the scale?

Through numbness, I made calls out to the universe.  I sent out a plea to friends to take Frazer for the day which were lovingly answered.  I changed an acupuncture appointment we had waited three weeks for in hopes of relieving some of Houlder's pain.  I called my mother to let her know the changes as she was due to arrive when we would be gone.  I remembered I still had to pick up at Collegiate.  But, worst of all, I had to call William on the road.  I made sure that he was not driving and delivered the obtuse message that the visual field tester had shared, "Tumors."  I tried to explain to William that I had language issue and perhaps I had misunderstood.  Nothing like having to share with someone that he needed to clear his schedule on wanting information.


And, why not call the doctor?  Well our sweet friend had arranged all this and we had not even met the doctor.


So, on we traveled.


If felt like a prank call.  The world's karmic comeback.


On the way to MCV, I chattered ceaselessly grateful for the final two little pills which would help Houlder get into the MRI but slightly concerned that they might be more beneficial to me at that moment.  Armed with documentation of his health since last spring, tests results, CT, MRI we trudged into the office 30 minutes early and the technician came and greeted us.  Concierge service was new to us at MCV.  This sweet man got us, told us he would get us an appointment with the Neuro-ophthalmologist (which he did), and could move his MRI back so that we could do it all.  During it all he commented on Houlder's size and athleticism a how he need to get this tumors out and move on with his life and that usually it takes 6 months to see the doctor but he was going to take of us -- all because of our friend who had heard our concern about about Houlder not improving and in fact deteriorating.  Our friend -- a miracle worker.  This technician -- a champ delivering his news with a smile and actively working to make sure we got everything we needed.


Prank call?  Fact?  Fiction?  Surreal, yes.


We spent the afternoon doing what one does.  Houlder managed another MRI easily. 


The neuro-ophthalmalogist suggested that what the neuro-surgeon wants checked in the new MRI is not a tumor although he commented on three abnormalities.  In general, he felt Houlder was not a neurological case (happy or stunned) and thought that he may have the one condition that every other neurologist has said he does not have, a migraine -- even though he was missing 4 symptoms.  He explained the medication but told us to wait until after Monday's appointment.  He also explained that it was possible to have the same headache since January 4th -- intractable migraine. 

Mom, 67, Dell, 14, Frazer, 11 March 2011

We left wondering about one diagnosis without all symptoms and how three abnormalities don't mean anything: do abnormalities start somewhere?  are these the first ones?  could it be this simple and this many intelligent people have been wrong?


Today is Friday.  We managed Thursday which was Dell's 14th birthday.  My mother got to see Picasso yesterday.  Houlder napped.  Dell got his World Cup soccer ball and Inter Milan away jersey making him smile.  Frazer finally had two hours of education and Porter reveled in being six.  After dinner at CanCan and birthday ice cream at Bev's exhaustion overcame me.  


We wait.  William and I contemplate a plan.  Our greatest concern is that if it is not neurological, then what.  We feel immense gratitude to our friend who has arranged all this so quickly.  We worry.  Clearly.  Who can surrender to the universe kind of crap through this?

Houlder remains even and confident.  He is his father's child.  Me, I lie in bed worrying about karmic retribution.  Prank calls and where do we go to find answers. 

The act of bell ringing is symbolic of all proselytizing religions. It implies the pointless interference with the quiet of other people.
Ezra Pound